Morning Reflection: A struggle for meaning
A struggle for meaning.
Deep in our past, we as a species struggled for survival. Against the elements, against the wildlife, against rival tribes, against rival countries.
As we have slowly conquered the elements, subdued the savage beasts, found a way to live in less destructive ways with each other and forged a kind of peace unknown for the majority of our history, we have unwittingly set our feet on a pathway to our next frontier.
The struggle to find meaning.
Technology has increased the time in which we have to sit, to think, to ponder and to discover, but we still struggle to find our place in the world, our reason for being here.
I talk with too many people who in their heart feel a discontent, a relentless vacancy of their spirit, a constant absence that steals their peace and torments their soul.
In all of our efforts to prolong and improve life, we have yet as a species to move into a balance of an enlightened existence. We focus on comparison, when we need more compassion. We spend more time in distraction than we do in meditation, and find comfort in conflict instead of connection.
If we are to grow into our potential, then we must find new meaning in our existence, and need to be kinder in our differences.
To exist is not enough.
Our sentience and our souls demand a higher level of being, a more compassionate level of service.
We have to stand in our own place, and declare through our words and our actions that in spite of our differences we can overcome our divisions. That although we disagree, we need not be disagreeable. That we are more than contention, and greater than our fears.
If we are to find meaning in our moments, then we must find that which ennobles our existence, and those actions which bring serenity to our souls.
We are greater than our basest desires, more faithful than our deepest fears, and more powerful than we can imagine.
Seek, and you will find. Meaning may be found in both movement and meditation.
Meaning is serving. Serving brings meaning.
If you would silence the storms of your soul, find meaning in the difference you can make in the lives around you.
And serve.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: What defines you?
What defines you?
As people, we often find comfort in defining ourselves. It seems to give a sense of security against the chaos and randomness in the universe.
So many people define themselves by their role as a parent, or what they do to support their family, or by some achievement they have reached.
For some, it is about what they have done in the past; for some it may be a behavior they are trying to overcome in the present, and for others it may be that which they are struggling to accomplish in the future.
The older we get, the more rigid our definitions become, and the less flexible we tend to be in our thinking and our self definitions.
Today, I would invite you to take a moment and consider the opposite.
What or who would you be in the absence of definitions?
I have learned that people who have changed the world for the better are people who seem to have moved beyond the definition of themselves, and moved in alignment with a principle.
If you ARE compassion, then you always have value, despite what may surround you. If you ARE love, then you always have a place in the world and a pathway to follow. If you ARE peace, then you are always needed in a world that lacks you. If you ARE wisdom, then you will always seek to ennoble and empower others.
When you define yourself as something greater than yourself, and act according to that value or principle, you partner with the eternal, and you are able to create an impact in the world far beyond that which you can manifest on your own.
When it is no longer about you, you can move mountains, and perform miracles. When it is no longer about you, you can no longer be wounded.
You are so much more than that which you define yourself by.
You are.
You.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: When love is not enough
When love is not enough.
In my work as a coach, I have been blessed to help people when they are at their most vulnerable. Unfortunately, there are often times when I have to help them transition through difficult obstacles, at a time when they least want to hear what I have to say.
And it’s a balancing act, trying to deliver the words they need to hear, in the way that they need to hear them. I have to walk a very fine line sometimes, between compassion and contention.
The most important thing when helping another is that it ‘must never be about you’.
A recent example of this came to light when an older sibling was trying to help a younger sibling, by giving advice that was considered to be ‘things that they need to hear’.
And in reality, the older sibling was correct in the concepts he was trying to communicate.
But the younger sibling could not listen to the older brother, because it was all about the older brother’s desire to be right, to no longer be embarrassed by his younger sibling, and by the frustration that he felt when trying to communicate with his younger sibling.
In short, it was all about the older brother’s feelings, and his message to his younger sibling fell on ears that only heard derision, anger and scorn.
When trying to help someone, the most important lesson is to accept and respect their human divinity. When a person realizes that we acknowledge their right to be who they want to be, and that our own ego no longer plays any role in the equation, that person can then choose to listen to you if they so wish.
When it becomes about us as a healer, or teacher, then the message we try to communicate will be lost in translation, strangled by our own ego and drowned out by our desires.
The greeting ‘Namaste’ can help us understand this balance. Namaste is often translated into a concept that essentially proclaims “the divine in me bows to the divine in you”.
Accepting the other person’s divinity, or worth and right of being, opens a channel of mutual respect, communication and cooperation. In that spirit, changes can occur and miracles can manifest.
When you truly accept and respect another person’s being, you stop trying to subvert their soul and instead move into serving that which is sacred.
Namaste my friends. May you have an amazing day today, and serve from selflessness.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: Finding stillnes
[Morning Reflection]
Finding stillness.
As someone who grew up in a coastal town, the ocean forever holds a place in my heart. There is nothing more therapeutic for me than to sit on the shore, and listen to the majesty before me.
The ocean is endless, elegant, exquisite and eternal.
One the shore, I find a new perspective for my problems. The ocean teaches me that they are temporary against the backdrop of millennia.
My problems, while appearing large in my eyes, are nothing compared to the vastness of the ocean. My time here, while all that I have, is but a moment against the relentless and unending patience of the ocean.
Even though it moves constantly, the ocean helps me find stillness, perspective, power and peace.
Yet living far from the ocean now, I have to find within me the tranquility that it brings. No longer can I visit every day to walk upon its shore and bathe in its wonder.
I have to nurture stillness in my soul.
I have found that in order to achieve stillness, I first have to find what creates movements in my soul. Oscillations are a result of unbalanced or uncompleted events within my life, and are often a sign of unfulfilled needs.
In order to achieve stillness in my everyday life, I must live in balance with my own morality and find a peace in the face of my own mortality.
Stillness requires humility, self honesty, hard work and the ability to balance.
In humility, I think less about myself and focus on the needs of others, freeing myself from the misunderstandings of my own life, and allowing me to learn truth as I help others find their peace. I must accept others for who they are, which requires a deep humility that I struggle with every day.
In self honesty, I am able to see my flaws and realize the inconsistencies of my soul.
In hard work, I am able to correct those inconsistencies and find a better path forwards in my journey through this time, and in balance, I find a way to exist in the universe despite the competing demands on my soul.
If I am to find stillness, I must search within so that I may serve without.
Stillness is silence, balance, peace.
Stillness is worth the struggle.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: The stories we believe in ourselves
The stories we believe in ourselves.
As little children we love stories. We love being read to. We love how in a story, the world makes sense.
As we grow, we tell ourselves stories to explain why the world works in the way it does. In light of the chaos present in the universe, telling stories allows us to create structure, logic and understanding.
But sometimes we tell ourselves stories to explain things we can’t understand. As the child of an emotionally absent father, I created the story that I was such a bad child my father didn’t want to be around me. It was either that, or try to understand a situation for which I had no reference, logic or rationale.
A good friend of mine adopted the story that she was overweight because her mother was pressuring her to lose weight, when in truth it was about the mother’s issues, and nothing to do with my friend. She carried this for many years, and in some aspects still carries it. An untruth, made into a truth, by a desire to be accepted, loved and cherished.
When we accept these stories as a child, they become the filters through which we understand the world. The child who believes they must be perfect will never know the peace of ‘good enough’. The teenager who believes they are different will never know the feeling of being a part of something larger. The adult who believes they are destined to fail will never know the satisfaction of risking and winning, because they will never try.
Unless they un-learn these stories, challenge the narrative, break out of the imaginary chains and soar into the new truth.
That they are enough. They are powerful. They can succeed.
Make sure that every child within your influence hears the right stories. That life is tough for all, but hard work and persistence makes a difference. That we all fail at some time, but we try again. That heartbreak is rarely permanent, and never a reason to stop loving.
And most importantly, that they are loved, cherished, valued and cared for.
They are. You are. We are.
Change their story, change their life.
Begin.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Emotional Freedom
Morning Reflection: You have to face, and feel, your feelings
You have to face, and feel, your feelings.
We all have feelings we like to feel. Feelings like joy, happiness, excitement, love and comfort to name just a few. Those are the emotions that make life worth living.
But we also have to deal with the other type of emotions, like loss, loneliness, frustration, pain and shame. Those are the emotions that hurt, and make us wish for a change in how we feel.
How do you avoid your negative feelings?
For me, for a long time, it was food. That’s how I ended up morbidly obese, and closer to death than I want to admit. But that wasn’t my only ‘coping mechanism’. I would also become angry at myself, preferring the pain of self loathing rather than the pain of someone else being angry or disappointed in me.
Last night, I had an occasion to face a negative feeling, rather than try to run from it, or busy myself in something else to forget it. The negative feeling was sadness, after I failed to follow through on something that someone very dear to me asked of me. It wasn’t something earth shattering, but it made that person feel unappreciated.
But this time, rather than get angry with myself, or get quiet and withdraw, I made the conscious decision to allow the feeling to exist, and feel how it felt. No avoidance, no rationalization, nothing to try to ameliorate the feeling of acknowledging that I let someone down.
And it didn’t feel good at all. But I lived.
Growth comes when we stop avoiding our feelings, and learn from them.
Growth comes when we accept that things might hurt for a while, but we don’t try to dull that pain with other measures.
Growth comes when we take a deep breath, and allow the truth of who we are to wash over us, and bathe us in the emotions that can change us.
Like the small flower that struggles to pierce the earth to find the sunlight, or the child who struggles to walk despite falling again and again, we too can struggle through and learn from our painful emotions if we will but face them, feel them and find the strength to change through them.
Running from your emotions never solves the problem.
The only way out is through.
Go through it. You can do this.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: Choose a different window
Choose a different window.
Everything in life comes down to our perspective, our own window, or our point of view. What we see today as a truth may very well be understood to be an error when we look back at it from tomorrow. History is replete with examples of this.
But so too are our own lives. Yesterday, in a moment of ego, I left a comment on a post on Facebook, which angered someone greatly, and he left a reply that was obviously full of frustration. When I initially read his comment, I felt my soul shift into what I can only describe as ‘battle mode’, and I immediately began composing my responses, none of which were true to my highest ideals of being a peacemaker.
But in that first moment, I didn’t want peace, I wanted vengeance. I wanted superiority. I wanted to use every ounce of whatever talent and intellect I possess to crush his argument (and his ego) into pieces. He’s not someone I know, and he had treated me in a way that I felt was inappropriate, unkind and rude.
This is not the person I aspire to be, but this is who I am if I allow myself to be that person.
Thankfully, it took a couple of minutes, but I was able to exercise some humility and try to see it from his window, his point of view.
And so I apologized. Not because I thought my argument doesn’t have merit, but because he was right when he said I could have done better. Could he have phrased his reply more kindly, sure. Are there things that he said that I feel were incorrect, yes. Would we necessarily see eye to eye on this topic were we ever to meet, I honestly don’t know.
But my apology to him brought forth an apology from him. Neither of us were seeing it from each other’s point of view, and we both asked for forgiveness, which was given. Good wishes were exchanged, and each of us grew a little closer to kindness.
In order to be a peacemaker, we have to be willing to give up our own window, and see things from someone else’s point of view, so that we may search for truth together, rather than trying to pull each other down.
Peace requires humility. Yesterday I was able to find some. It doesn’t always happen. I am so grateful that the other person in this equation was able to reply from a place of humility. He helped me more than he can know.
Wherever you are today, I implore you to find someone with whom you disagree, and make an effort to reach out and try to understand them.
The only way we will have peace in this world is when we strive for it.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: Where do you focus your attention?
Where do you focus your attention?
In this digital age, it’s easy to lose focus on the important things. There is an ever increasing plethora of attention grabbing apps, websites, channels and ways to communicate.
Yet in a world where information acquisition is easier than ever, we often allow our attention to be drawn away from that which is important, to that which is immediate and/or immaterial.
I have come to realize that our attention is usually focused in one of 3 spheres. The first is the ‘sphere of concern’. This sphere contains things which draw our attention, but over which we have very little input, and thus can effect very little change in our lives.
The second is the sphere of influence, where we can focus our attention, backed up with action, to make a difference, though not necessarily have a defining input to change the outcome of a situation.
Finally there is our sphere of control, where our ability to apply attention and action can have massive changes in our lives, as we control the outcome of a situation or an event.
I find that I often allow my attention to drift into my sphere of concern, because this is usually something that requires no action from me. In this way I can feel good about being concerned about something or someone, but have very little responsibility for doing anything.
But when I focus on my sphere of control, I can make significant changes to my life in a short space of time, but it requires me to take action and actually do something.
It’s so much easier to focus my attention on things that do not present risk or require work.
But this produces no results. Focusing on my sphere of control helps me to take action in my life, and achieve and become more.
It’s all a matter of attention.
Where will you focus your attention today?
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: Take a moment to wonder
Take a moment to wonder.
How much time do you set aside each day to marvel at the universe in which we live? When was the last time you drove out onto a dark country road and stared up at the night sky in amazement? Or when was the last time you sat quietly on a beach and listened to the majesty, power and timelessness that is the ocean?
If you are like me, you are probably guilty of taking all of this for granted. We get so caught up in the complications and chaos of life that we forget to appreciate where we are, when we are, and what we have.
You are a wonder of biology. Whether you feel that we are evolved, designed or created, can we just agree that the human body is an incredible organism? No technology even comes close.
Your mind is unfathomable. We can dream, feel, think, talk and adapt in a universe that we barely understand, yet we can create, design, and build in a way that just blows the mind.
We as a species have left the earth and returned safely. In the future, we will colonize other worlds, and plant our footprints and flags on planets that have never known our touch.
We are capable of loving and being loved. Despite heartbreak, fears, loneliness and pain, we push forward in our relationships and understandings. Do we fall sometimes, of course, but we manage to get up again.
If life has worn you down with its weight, I invite you today to view your world through the eyes you used when you were five years old.
Look around you at the technology, the majesty, humanity and nobility that surrounds you.
Look up, look around, and feel again that sense of wonder.
This universe, galaxy, and planet; your country, town, home, and yourself. All of them are miracles.
Today, celebrate life, celebrate yourself, and celebrate wonder.
And rise.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: A disciple of desire
A disciple of desire.
It seems that one of my constant, ongoing and unrelenting struggles in life is to find discipline. Anyone who has seen my desk in my home office can attest to this. Unfinished projects, unfiled paperwork, non-actioned post it notes and incomplete ideas scribbled on any available paper.
I wish I was more disciplined, yet in some areas of my life, I have discipline.
Since finally making the decision to lose weight almost 2 years ago, I have lost over 140lbs naturally, no supplements, medication or surgery. Obviously this is not something I could have managed without discipline, yet I struggle to take that strength of will and apply in other areas of my life.
Truthfully, I have found that a discipleship of desire is the birthplace of discipline, yet the associations in my subconscious are very different regarding some of those words.
The word disciple evokes feelings of reverence, but also power. I think not only of spiritual discipleship, but also of physical strength, emotional control and financial freedom.
Yet when I consider the word discipline, my association is a negative one, and I find myself immediately wanting to move away from anything that looks like discipline imposed upon me, not generated from within myself.
But the more disciplined I am in my life, the greater sense of freedom and peace I find within myself.
In my attempts to become more disciplined, I realize that I have to manage my desire in order to manipulate my discipline.
That which I desire strongly breeds of itself the discipline necessary to achieve or possess it.
So I find myself becoming a disciple of desire, so that I might have the discipline to achieve my dreams.
What do you desire?
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: My reactions are my responsibility
My reactions are my responsibility.
It took me a long time to learn this truth, but my reactions are not reflexes.
A reflex is an action that occurs without conscious thought, like the way we pull our hand away from something hot. A reflex carries no judgment, no decision, no initiation of thought. It just simply occurs.
For the longest time, I thought of my reactions this way. Why…because it made things easier. If my reactions were in fact more of a reflex, then I didn’t have to think about them, didn’t have to control them, wasn’t responsible for how I acted and what I said.
After much thought and meditation, it occurs to me that I thought this way because it allowed me to evade the responsibility of choosing my reactions. It allowed me to act as a child, rather than an adult.
As I have grown through my journey, I have come to realize that my reactions are actually responses, that occur as a result of the way I see and feel about the world. But in truth, the way I see and feel about the world is a representation of my own inadequacies, fears, needs and aspirations.
My reactions are, in truth, a reflection of my perceived place in reality.
Since my reactions affect others, I feel that upon me falls a heavy responsibility, that of making sure that my reactions are congruent with the way that I would like to treat the world.
Where I could choose to react with anger, I hope to react with kindness. Where I could choose to react with fear, I hope I may react with faith. Where I could choose to react from pride, may I instead react with humility.
My reactions are my choices, and it would be wise for me to consider them carefully, and learn from them.
Because the reactions that I don’t ‘think about’ are in fact a roadmap to the deeper nature of my soul.
If I would learn to master my reactions, I must first learn to understand myself.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: Giving yourself permission to let go
Giving yourself permission to let go.
Humanity comes with a price – awareness, sentience, choice. Each of us holds that precious balance between what we could do, and what we choose to do. Often we have our own set of rules, that we have adopted from that which we have observed, and that which we have decided for ourselves.
In short, we have a definition of ourselves that dictates who we are, how we behave, and often even how we feel.
But sometimes, these self-rules prevent us from acting in our own self interests, especially when it comes to letting go of old self-beliefs.
When I am coaching with someone, and they use the phrase “I am” followed by a definition, I will often explore with them that definition, so that they may come to a greater knowledge of themselves.
You would be surprised the number of times that we find out that a self definition, especially one that is preventing progress, was created after a painful interaction with a parent, a spouse or a friend. These definitions can create pain, heartache and sadness for many years, even if that definition has no basis in reality.
An example would be the woman who thinks she is overweight, because a well meaning but poorly executing parent tells her that she needs to lose “just a few pounds’. Another example would be a man who was told as a teenager that he would ‘always be a problem’ and has adopted that belief into his soul and so acts accordingly.
Or maybe it’s the parent who is blinded by their expectation of what “should be” and who instead misses out on all that they actually do have with their children.
If, in your self-reflection, you find that you have some of these difficult self definitions, I invite you today to question them, and see if this is something that you can let go.
Letting go does not make you a bad person, nor does it make you ungrateful to a person who may have been trying to help.
It simply means that you are using your sentience, your awareness and your power to choose to determine your own future, and travel down your own pathway in the way that you feel best reflects the truth of your being.
If all you are waiting for is permission to become who you know you really are, then this is your permission slip.
Be kind, know yourself and become.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: Each day, sometimes each hour, brings change
Each day, sometimes each hour, brings change.
I love spring and fall. While winter and summer have their attractions, for me there is nothing better than a crisp spring or fall morning. In spring, we see life affirming its strength, as new things grow and prepare to make our world a better, brighter and more beautiful place. In fall, we see life affirming its wisdom, as it changes to prepare to endure the harsh winter and begin again in the spring.
In self examination, I realize that I like these two seasons most of all because they represent transition, movement, progression. It is much the same for me in an airport or a train station. The feeling of freedom, newness; a future always beckoning me onwards.
But I also find that I focus too easily on the next, the new or the novelty, and lose my focus of this moment, now, today.
Yet there are also changes that I dislike. A new wrinkle or a new gray hair in my beard. Signs that indicate changes I can’t control.
The truth is that change is a constant, but we only like the changes that we want. We don’t like the changes that in some way threaten our core needs.
The more I come to accept that I cannot control all the changes, the more I am able to focus my energy and intention onto the areas of my life that I can control. The less I allow the small changes to bother me, the less time I spend wasting my emotional energy on activities that do not benefit me.
When time is your currency, focus your wealth, and energy your power, choose to spend them in a deep, determined and disciplined manifestation of all that you CAN change, and spend less time worrying about that which you cannot.
It is said that time is a healer, but it is also your helper.
Spend your time today in pursuit of your greatest you. You won’t regret it.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: How do you balance gratitude?
[Morning Reflection]
How do you balance gratitude?
Yesterday morning I stepped outside to get the mail. It was a beautiful morning, and although it was cold, the sun shone brightly and the world seemed at peace.
I have read enough history to know that in the history of the entire human race, I am very blessed. To be where I am, at this time, in this place, in my circumstances…a large percentage of humanity that has ever existed would consider me very fortunate, and trade places with me in a moment.
Yet I find that I struggle with gratitude, because there is in my core an ambition growling that nothing I have achieved is even remotely enough. I’m not sure what “enough” would be, but I know I don’t feel that I am even close to being there.
And I realize that I am ungrateful, and I struggle to change.
I seek to find a balance, some internal awareness that can be thankful, and at that moment allow myself to find joy in where I am at, yet still maintain a desire to become more.
I have come so very far from where I started, both in life and in geography. I have, in most aspects, eclipsed the probable outcomes of my birth.
I have been helped along the way, of that there is no question, but I question the level of gratitude I feel regarding that help. I think that, in some way, being grateful for help is linked in my mind to not being enough, that I am ashamed for having needed help, that I was insufficient.
Even writing these words I see the inconstancy behind them, but who ever said that we, as humans, are paragons of consistency? It may be said of us that our constant inconsistency is what separates us from machines.
So today, I ask of you, how do you balance gratitude with ambition? Does gratitude come easily to you, or do you, like me, recognize that you have very far to go in reaching a grateful state of being?
I would welcome your thoughts today. Your wisdom could help my struggle.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: How do you know when it’s time to walk away?
How do you know when it’s time to walk away?
Have you ever had to walk away from someone? Unfortunately, this happens to most of us at some point in our lives. We have the misfortune to find someone who is so toxic to us that there is no middle ground, no way to breach the gulf between us.
No matter how hard we try, there is no explanation that will magically unlock their understanding, and bring into balance the interactions between us.
It may be due to their extreme emotional needs, or a wound to their self image that has never healed, or it may just be that their understanding of how the world works is so fundamentally different from our own that for our emotional self protection we have to disengage and depart.
Often we will feel some measure of guilt for this. That is natural, especially if you are the kind of person who tries very hard to be compassionate to the feelings of others.
But sometimes, you just have to walk away. From the person, from the drama, from the emotional battery that accompanies their presence in your life.
Walking away does not make you a bad person. When you have honestly tried, and there is still no balance that works for you, then you have the right to protect yourself.
Too often, in an attempt to try to heal a previous relationship, we persist in a current one far too long, hoping at a deep subconscious level that we can somehow put right what once went wrong.
When the time comes, the kindest thing you can do is just walk away. For you, for them, a clean break is often the best. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of what you hoped this could be, but don’t spend your time dwelling on the past.
You only have a finite time here, so use the time that you have in the best way possible.
Be kind to yourself, and find the balance that allows you to be kind to others.
And you can find peace.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: What would you do after you had all the money in the world?
What would you do after you had all the money in the world?
A very wise man once asked me this question. He said that the key to happiness was deciding what you really wanted to do, and doing that.
He taught me a question that I have asked many other people since first learning of it.
Imagine you had enough money to do whatever you wanted. You had traveled to everywhere you wanted to go, and purchased everything you wanted, and there was still time left over in your life.
What would you spend your time on?
That is your passion, your mission, and your soul.
For me, I realized that helping people was the thing that brings me most joy. Were it possible, I would spend a good portion of each day coaching with people, helping them through their problems, their fears, their heartaches and their lives. It’s what brings me the most joy and happiness, and it’s when my soul feels most alive.
For you the answer is probably different, and that’s ok. The purpose of life is to find your purpose, and then live your life so that you can live your purpose as completely, honestly, truthfully and compassionately as you can.
You have today, but no guarantee of tomorrow.
Purpose. Find it, live it, love it.
Go.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: What do you do when you are out of balance?
What do you do when you are out of balance?
This week has been tough for me, in that I have had so many competing concerns that I don’t really feel like I’ve given proper attention to anything, except writing my reflections.
But even that has been challenging, as I have struggled to find the right words, sometimes even the right topics for each day. I have probably spent more time staring at the screen in frustration than actually writing, and more time writing reflections that I have eventually erased than I have working on the ones that have made it onto the page.
As I reflect on the truth of my life right now, I find that I am out of balance. My meditation practice this week has been neglected, my personal development has been less focused, and my spiritual life has been given less priority than it should.
In short, I have spent too much time on meeting demands instead of nourishing my dreams, and far too much time focused on my fears, instead of strengthening my foundation.
I constantly struggle with putting my needs before the needs of others. Do you do this?
Partly this is out of a desire to serve, to make a difference. Partly this is out of fear that if I stop giving to others, I will lose those connections as I will no longer be of any worth to them.
But mostly, it is because somewhere in my childhood I generated the belief that I am not important, and that I only have worth when giving to others.
And that belief leads to a loss of balance.
While the needs of others are important, I have to realize that I too am worthy of my compassion, my concern and my caring.
Caring for others, out of a misguided belief that I have little to no worth, hinders my ability to enlarge my soul and progress into the person I am trying to become.
So I struggle everyday to find the right balance, but I know that I must get back to my foundational behaviors if I am to have a stable platform on which to progress.
How do you balance yourself when you are not in alignment?
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings
Morning Reflection: How do you find your truths?
How do you find your truths?
Absolute truth is in short supply in this universe. Many of the truths we cling to are not as certain as we would like them to be. Often, our ‘truth’ is rooted in our hopes, faith, dreams, desires, needs, wants and fears.
Frequently, the truth that we seek is inside of us, but it may be that we don’t see it yet. Many of us have discovered self truths by accident, and occasionally by intent.
Sometimes, the ‘truths’ that we cling to about ourselves are nothing more than mistaken childhood beliefs carried into adulthood because we never question them.
I have found great benefit in asking questions of myself.
But in doing so, I have to be willing to accept the answers that I receive, even when they are scary, painful, and overwhelming.
I have found that being able to suspend judgment, fear and doubt through meditation has enabled me to ask myself questions, and then wait patiently for my mind to supply me with answers.
When a potential answer comes, I feel how it resonates within my soul. This is a difficult process, but when I truly give my mind permission to reveal truth unto me, I find that answers will flow, and from that process, a new direction and understanding will emerge.
Today, I invite you to discover more of your own truths. In quiet meditation, ask yourself the questions that you wish to have answered, then sit without judgment and explore the inspiration that comes to you.
In the quiet times, the beauty of the soul opens to reveal the truths of your existence and destiny.
May you find your way, and live it well.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings